Dreams Don't Turn to Dust

I have so many dreams. How will they ever get out?

[Picture: Golden Gardens Summer 2009]

Dr. Who & ELO

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Electric Light Orchestra?

It's my:

-Thank God It's Friday

-My Day Needs a Pick-Me-Up

-I'm Driving

-Something Peppy Needs to Be Playing Right Now

-Life Is Awesome

-I Want to Hug a Puppy But Will Listen to Music Instead

music.

Basically, if you watch this video for a few seconds at 1:20, 3:47, and 4:50, you will have a fair idea of what is either going on in my head or what I do in my office when no one is watching. ;)

Why Rock Stars Really Rock

Dear Rock Stars,

You always thank us regular people, but here is a regular person thanking you.

It's easy to think about how glamorous the life of a professional musician must be. It's in the Hannah Montana song (limos, hottest styles, every shoe in every color, movie premieres, etc.). Doing something that you (hopefully) love has become your livelihood, with the help of your adoring fans. The truth is, almost everyone wants to be in your shoes, and you know it. (As a side note, thanks to those of you who have not let this fact go to your head.)

Every situation has its backside (pun intended), though. Rock stars put up with a lot:

-Long hours on the road

-Being absent from their families for long periods of time

-Rarely getting a home-cooked meal while touring

-Stalkers

-Creepy blogs detailing their personal lives, style, every picture of them ever taken

-Stalkers with creepy blogs

-Total invasions of their privacy and personal space (Mat Kearney had his butt grabbed in the crowd at a concert, see Matt Thiessen being touched by the crowd above--that takes a strong stomach)

-Tabloids/paparazzi

-The potential of never having a normal love life

-Having to be hesitant/distrustful when making new "friends"

-Signing autographs until they have carpal tunnel

-Playing their songs over and over until they get sick of them (see "Cartoons" by Chris Rice)

-Stress-related illnesses and ailments

-Squealing fans that are in love with you, despite being 1/3 your age

-Having to spend large amounts of time figuring out how to keep putting God first

With all of that going on in your lives, I don't know how you do it! Sometimes I wish that I could make that quiet homemade meal for you, just to show you how much you are appreciated in a way other than what your looks, money, talent, and fame have to offer.

Rock stars, you rock.

P.S. If you guys want to take me up on that homemade meal thing, give me a heads up. I'd be glad to, and no one would ever have to know.

[Picture by me, at a Relient K concert some years ago]

Kind of Addicted to This Song

This is What I Have to Say to the World

"You sit on a throne of lies."

It is often used facetiously, but is something I find myself yelling at the world as of late.

(Yelling in my head, that is...)

But too often we point out the world's faults before we admit our own. Thus, I will own up to some before ranting. First of all, I started that sentence back there with a conjunction. Sorry.

Also, I apologize for any time that I've been fake with someone. Whether it was to make them have a higher opinion of me, bolster my sense of security, or as a form of blowing them off so that they could not actually get to know me. I am working on this problem. Sometimes, it is just so much easier to play a part than to be myself. That must be why I ended up as a drama major. I am already so good at acting.

That being said, I will now rant.

I hate it when people are dishonest about their intentions towards me, or when their intentions towards me are dishonest. Do you not think that I can see through your lies or manipulations? I've committed the same, or at least similar, indecencies. They are as recognizable when you are committing them as when they are committed against you.

This is why I don't trust you, world.

You are the throne of lies.

That Time I Went Crazy: Roswell Edition

Second only to that time that Craig watched two seasons of 24 in 48 hours, was the past 2.5 weeks in which I watched three seasons of Roswell. Wow, that was a lot of numbers in one sentence.

Mindy had mentioned that when she did a similar thing with The O.C, she had started thinking about the characters as if they were her friends and would start to discuss them as if they were real people.

Same thing happened to me, except for I also started picking up their mannerisms, instinctively expected to see them in public, and feel as if my friends moved away when the series ended.

"Dead Man's Cell Phone"

[*So, I'm doing a different devotional program for Lent, which means a break from the Romans 12 thing.*]

The UW Drama department's Undergraduate Theater Society put on a production of "Dead Man's Cell Phone" last year, or maybe it was two years ago. Either way, I didn't get a chance to see it, as it was during the run of another show I was working on. It's a shame.

The play has something to do with the cell phone of a man who died (hence the title), and his friends and relatives are calling and leaving messages. Or something like that.

Last summer, a friend of mine died. His phone number is still in my phone, and there is always this urge to call it.

Tonight I did.

It was busy.

Honor One Another Above Yourselves

"Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:10b

Honor reminds me of two things:

1. Military awards

2. Marriage

The point is, honor requires sacrifice. You have to give up something that you really like. Your pride. Your comfort. Your life.

It is its own reward, though, to see a person benefit from your sacrifice. Honor is not the real reward.

It's strange, though. Everyone wants honor, but those who get it don't set out with honor in their sights. They have some higher purpose.

Be Devoted to One Another in Brotherly Love

[Photo credit: awkwardfamilyphotos.com]

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love."

The phrase "Brotherly Love" evokes in me memories of lazy Sundays watching the Lawrence brothers in their quirky TV show. Good times. It also reminds me of John 15:13 ("Greater love hath no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.").

Most of all, it reminds me to cherish those around me. The verse doesn't say "be devoted to your friends" or "be devoted to the people you like," but "be devoted to one another." Everyone, love everyone!

Again, we are all human, it can be plain exhausting to be 100% nice to 100% of the people around you 100% of the time. Plus, you might just come across as creepy or fake.

Honestly, I have a really hard time telling people how much I appreciate them. I never had a steady friend as a child, so I get really nervous that my friends will just forget about me and move on to cooler people. It's happened before. Also, I struggle with a lot of mental negativity from depression, so it's easy for me to put myself down and think that no one wants to be my friend.

Showing brotherly love to someone can take a lot of courage, but simple gestures go a long way too. Hold doors for people. Help someone pick up their loose change that they dropped in the store. Smile. Hug. Laugh with. Pray for.

Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

Continuing with Romans 12.

[Disclaimer: I am on Dayquil.]

[Picture credit: http://onthejob.45things.com/2010/02/how-to-hang-on-to-new-job.php]

"Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."

First thing you think of when you hear this phrase? "Hugs not drugs!" Or at least someone telling you not to do something, as if you're a little kid. "Don't bring bugs in the house." "Don't just wet your toothbrush and say that you brushed your teeth." "Don't run around the pool." At first, you're disinclined to listen, but then you notice that it's two "do" actions, not two "don't" actions. Mrs. Sorenson (my 2nd grade teacher) said that those are better rules to have, because they're happier to follow.

Hate must be just as sincere as love. It means that you feel utter repulsion from something. It should push you towards good with the same wonky sensation as a repelling magnet.

Cling? Just like in the picture above, it may mean holding on with your last finger. It's like in the movie, The Guardian, when they talk about how Ben Randall held onto a harnessless man with just his fingertips, as the helicopter they were dangling from thrashed about in the wind and they were buffeted by waves from below. The character tore tendons in his arm and was out of commission for months, but he saved that man's life.

It's important to practice this

in both your actions and your thoughts.

Don't linger if you know something isn't right.

Run.

And cling to good.

Don't listen to thoughts that you aren't good enough.

Run.

Cling to Jesus.

He thought you were good enough.

He died for you.

Love Must Be Sincere

When asked, I often say that my favorite Bible study was one on the second half of Romans 12. It was for the officers' Bible study in the UCU Women's house. We would wake up at 5:55AM to have our study at 6AM.

Each of our meetings focused on one phrase. We would discuss what we thought it meant and how we could live it out that quarter.

It's time to relive that study, but with some art, music, and poetry to assist.

"Love must be sincere."

In most relationships between two people (friendship, marriage, etc.), there is some form of love. Unfortunately, at least one person in the relationship loves themselves more than they love the other person. It's inevitable. We're all human. It may be seen in just a momentary action, or could be the theme of the relationship.

More than anything, it is seen in our relationships with Jesus. Definitely think about myself more than I think about the most awesome Savior in the universe. Oops!

That's why love takes work.
It's easy to forget that.
Love is one of the hardest
but most rewarding jobs
for which you will ever have the honor
of laboring.

One thing is for sure:
The harder you work towards love,
the more you will learn
about God's selfless love,
and how you can exemplify it
in your own life.

Secret Revealed

With Lady Gaga's Bad Romance, in the bridge following the lines that are not in English, I like to yell, "I don't want to be French" instead of the actual lyrics. The best part is that no one can ever hear you, because they're also yelling the lyrics, but the actual ones.

Opposite Day

I confuse myself.

Not only am I never able to make up my mind,

but I simultaneously feel opposing emotions.

Sure, it's common to feel torn between

one thing or another.

But I describe myself as

particular, non-partial,

old-at-heart, young-at-heart,

determined, unsure,

candid, guarded,

flexible, stubborn,

interested, indifferent.

Even my Kindergarten teacher described me as

an independent clinger.

Is this what it is to be human?

Movie Review: Exit Through the Gift Shop

First of all, the Narrator: What an awesome voice! He's the actor that plays both Xenophilius Lovegood (Harry Potter) and Spike (Notting Hill).

Oh, and before I go any further, I must mention to the younger audiences that it is rated R (actually for only a bit of language, not much else). Also, it is a documentary that will put younger audiences to sleep.

Anywho. I had this movie recommended to me as part of my hip-hop class at church. Unfortunately, the day that we watched it, I was out sick.

Even though I enjoyed the class, not all of the movies we watched were up my alley.

However, I have always been fascinated by street art.

Not many people know that, but now it's out there.

Under the mistaken idea that it was a documentary about spray paint graffiti only, I reluctantly watched it... And was pleasantly surprised to find that "street art" is the term more readily accepted for the guerilla art that I enjoyed looking at on the internet.

I don't like all street art, though, just particular styles.

Anyhow, it was a very engaging and funny film. For a little while, I was not sure if it was a real documentary or if it was a mockumentary.

Recommended to: Art fans

Movie Review: Bella

Bella (2006): "Sooner or later every one of us will face an irreversible moment that will change our lives forever. If it hasn't happened to you yet...it will. BELLA is a true love story about how one day in New York City changed three people forever." (IMDB)

One of the reviewers called it a "Beautiful, clean message of unconditional love."

It's hard to talk about it without spoiling the movie. The ending is also something that could be discussed, instead of a typical "clean-cut" ending.

It's also hard to be convincing when you can't really talk about the film without spoiling it. How about this:

-It won the "People's Choice Award" at the Toronto Film Festival (the most prestigious award at the world's largest film festival), despite being shot on a very small budget, and in a very short amount of time.

(I promise that the entire thing doesn't take place on the beach...)